Rachel Eden has worked in the field of Jewish outreach and education for 12 years. She has a BA in psychology and studied in Jerusalem-based seminaries for nearly four years. Rachel lectures on topics that converge Torah with psychology including personal development, relationships, and spirituality. She has had the opportunity to educate and connect to Jewish students, young professionals, and families through her work in Aish HaTorah New York, Aish HaTorah Jerusalem, and the Jewish Awareness Movement at University of Southern California. She currently works as preschool director for Paula Tannen Preschool in San Diego. Rachel also writes for the San Diego Jewish Journal, her blog http://www.thiswaytoeden.wordpress.com, speaks nationally for different audiences using practical Jewish wisdom, and coaches women all over the world. Rachel’s passion is to help the Jewish people build strong selves, homes, and communities through Torah wisdom. She currently resides in La Jolla, CA with her family.

See Rachel’s website at: http://www.thiswaytoeden.com

 

 

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4 responses »

  1. How do I Kiruv my husband to do more mitzvot? I’m from an orthodox family, and always wanted to raise a torah home as well, but when I gave up on dating yeshivish guys and met my husband who was not religious at all, I don’t know how it happened but we got married. Now that I live with him and see him daily not doing the mitzvot, I’m very sad, upset, and frustrated. I’ve asked him so many times in different ways to do the mitzvot( mostly cries and fights) but he won’t do it. I blame myself for my choice but again, Hashem wanted this to happen so I’m in it for a reason but I don’t know how to deal with it. What can I do?

    • Thanks for your comment! I can’t say I’m qualified to answer your question, but I can consider you a new friend and thereby give you some friendly advice. When I first got married, I thought it would be a good idea to “motivate” (read: nag) my husband to do the things I wanted him to do religiously. Rav Noach Orlowek told me something invaluable that I never forgot. The mitzvot are between your husband and Hashem. While it may pain us to see someone we love not living according to our high expectations, we aren’t in control and it’s not even our business to be involved with our husbands’ mitzvot. I got another piece of advice from a second expert, Rav Yitzchak Berkovits, who said if you do choose to get involved, do it on the sly. Do it in a way that your husband had no idea it was from you.

      You want to know what happened? When I backed off and gave my husband the space he needed, he actually became more ambitious than I anticipated with his religious endeavors! I can’t say that will always happen, but we need to at least try.

      Let me know if this helps. Thank you for reaching out!

    • My compassion for the difficulty you find yourself in, feeling stuck in such a situation you both love and hate is like being torn in two. As much as it is painful to contemplate, I feel you should really get a divorce, it’s your right both as a Jew and a member of western society, and shouldn’t be such a big deal any more. I think you’re right to blame yourself because that gives you the power to make changes. If Hashem exists then did He not imbue you with free will to make your own choices? That’s part of the whole Jewish thing, we may through our own effort reach Godliness, not through divine intervention. I would also counsel to not try and change your husband. Spirituality is at the very core of our beings, and if you alter it through nagging and coercion you may either warp him as a person or absolutely destroy your relationship in a very negative way. This is also a piece of modern Jewry that I feel we need to deal with – why should we keep Torah? We have many reasons to be culturally Jewish, but religiously it’s very difficult, unrewarding, and for many, just doesn’t make sense. Find yourself a guy who spirits the same way you spirit. I’m curious, since this post is almost two years old, what is your status now?

      • Noah- This comment definitely took me aback! You would advise divorce to a woman you don’t know? It might be difficult or nearly impossible to build a home when two parties don’t share values. It might even be impossible. But divorce is the card in our back pocket that we use when we absolutely need it. There are so many different options including an open conversation about what the husband and wife actually want. Some men and women want more spirituality and just don’t know how to get there. Therapy is another option that sounds like a great idea for this couple. I too am curious to see how Rivka is doing…

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